Trying hard…

I am trying to accomplish………..: “To become Full” -To have a certain weight on my feet that does not allow the wind of circumstance or trouble to knock me even to the side a bit.

~I wear a scripture bracelet around my left arm to remind me of Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” I figure memorizing scripture will remind me of the goodness I long for. It does, of course, BUT there is so much more to it.

The reason I know this to be true is because I have been and still am greatly a “WILL” person. I WILL do that because I have discipline etc. So today I read that in the book of Colossians, Paul
tells of the self-imposed worship that this “will” can be. You see, we are so self-centered that any kind of dominion over a bad habit or success in say……. a diet or exercise and we think we are the bomb. We rock. We feel good. BUT what about when I scream at my little girl? Or when I get frustrated at my friend who is depressed and I just want to slap her and tell her to snap out of it already?!!

I read an explanation of how Jesus described this condition when He speaks of the external righteousness of the Pharisees. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks……I tell you, on the day of judgement men will render account for every careless word they utter” (Matt. 12:34-36.) So by my will it works for a while but sooner or later out comes my “Mood” to reveal the true condition of my heart. Sooner or later ‘What I am’ comes out.

Can I get a PMS waiver? Please??

“Willpower has no defense against the careless word, the unguarded moment. The will has the same deficiency as the law–it can deal only with externals. It is incapable of bringing about the necessary transformation of the inner spirit.” (Richard Foster)

It is no wonder why I always “feel” better while in a deep bible study. The discipline necessary to follow through specific workbooks can be about 45 minutes to one hour of bible study per day. Amazing learning and revelation happens!! Ahhhh…….the possibilities are endless…………..
~I know it is the external power of God that does the transformation. How can I love someone I used to hate? Stop drinking like a lush? Forgive what I thought was unforgivable? Build a bridge and get over it? Now I am hooked —

2 Replies to “Trying hard…”

  1. Que padre y llenó de love and hope esta tu blog youre an amazing woman and i love you and Jesús loves you for how beautifull you are inside and out youre a precius gift for me and the world

  2. oh Julio, I know I know, she is your wife – but I feel the same way!!!

    Yes, pms waiver granted!

    The way I see it (because I can totally relate to the I WILL attitude. I like to take action and DO SOMETHING about my current situation) ~I’ve been learning that I can do very little my own. “I can do all things through Christ”. He is capable of amazing things through me, I just have to get out of the way. LOL 🙂 I surrender.

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