Nobody is perfect. Right? That is hard to remember though…
There is certainly so much freedom in not having to continue in the race of perfection. I am not talking bout the ‘give it up and slack off forever Sloppy Joe’s attitude’… I am talking about the false idea that only ‘perfect’ is good enough. That crazy ‘perfection is best’ idea is so darn exhausting and obviously, super hurtful. It has taken me a while to un-do the perfection gene that runs in my family and in certain areas of society. Or all areas of society. It depends what magazine I look at, or movie I watch, or person I am talking to at the time.
Last year my first born ‘perfect’ girl turned 13 and was in 8th grade. And guess what? She fell out of ‘perfect’!! Oh yea, and of course, by default- so did I. Can you imagine that?!! It was a rough few months for this #ironmomma…. But I have been set free- yet again- because well, this is not the first time that this has happened- but like most difficult seasons in life, I think this is THE HARDEST EVER. Well, the ‘perfection’ and ‘I am in control’ BS has been kicked to the curb again! Amen brothers and sistas!
I can’t believe how much the expectation of possibly living through a kid can damage 1)the kid 2)the parent 3) our relationships 4) all other relationships getting in the way of that perfect expectation and kid in the making 5)the perception that the kid thinks he or she is perfect therefore acts like a jerk. 😉 6)insert your own here
After a lot of praying, reading, counseling, going on ‘momma strike’, lunches with amazing girlfriends that have parented plenty of teens, (in that order) and WALKING it through- I finally gave it up. (For now…) The satanic disease of control and expectations. My girl IS awesome. I am her biggest cheerleader. She is loved by me and by GOD regardless of her performance or successes (or lack there of). And well, some great advice that ALL of my amazing peers and books have given me is Do. Not. Take. It. Personally. Take what personally you ask? The rolling of the eyes, the bad moods in the morning, or afternoon, or every ten minutes, a bad grade here and there, sin in general? Because in the end, after realizing that this severs my relationship with her and with god- well, it’s a BIG relief to let it go. FREEDOM.
I am not letting parenting go…….just perfect parenting. And good luck to you who still believe in perfect parenting. You probably don’t have kids yet..(haha) or they are not teenagers! 🙂