Marriage Anniversary Post Statement :  19 years~ ❤️

Julio, 

I liked you since day one. You are the most handsome guy I know. You make me laugh. You listen to me when I talk. (And I talk a LOT). You help me when you challenge my thoughts with healthy critique and questions. I admire your spiritual discernment. You always dance with me when I ask you.  You SEE me, and almost always with eyes of love. 😉   You have always stood by me when I am sad, sick or hurting. You helped me believe that love is real, and that love can stay. That we don’t just run away, but we fight to stay, and we fight to heal. You show up for me and the kids, over and over and over. I don’t take this for granted. I know it’s a ‘supposed to’ in marriage but I also know it doesn’t happen in many marriages, so I am grateful for your love and willingness to show up over and over and over and over.  To marriage classes, parenting classes, retreats, small groups, conferences, family parties,  weekend get-aways ….

You encourage me in all my crazy dreams and adventures. We are growing together month after month, year after year. Seeking God’s help, peace and wisdom together with you has been crazy good. I am excited for today, for 19 years of marriage and for what is to come. Today I am so grateful for you, my husband …

Grateful also for our family and the life memories we have and are creating. I breathe gratitude and love this day~ 
Thank you babe. ❤️

Let’s party!!!!

Second Mother’s Day and Strike follow up~

Well, since I am Mexican, today is May 10th and the second Mother’s Day of the year for me and my fellow Mexican Mommas!!   I have been asked a few questions about the OG US  Mother’s Day that I forgot to add to Sunday’s post.  

Here is part 2 of the Mother’s Day write up with the untold details :

What happened that made this day different  than the time I went on strike?

1) I asked for what I wanted- and  

2) I planned something just for me.  

A few weeks in advance I told my husband and my kids, “I do not want any gifts for Mother’s Day this year,  at all.  I just want to stay at home and celebrate this day ON SATURDAY and fix up the garden,  plant pink bougainvilleas, and work on the house.  Ok- maybe a card I said….kids: you can make me a card. 😜. Now mind you, ever since the strike 2 years ago they do, somewhat, listen attentively.   The Saturday celebration aliviated the pressure for Sunday’s big expectations as well as allowed space for heading to Baja and spending time with grandma. 

It was not perfect.  It rained on Saturday morning so we could not paint. My husband had to work and my son had a baseball game so we got a late start and it was (again) not perfect and I was a bit frustrated …just a bit.   My planned event started at 6:30pm and I think we got to the planting at around 5:00pm. 😳

I kept breathing and looking at my kids, running around at my barking orders with a few moments of laughter and peace here and there.   Once my husband finally got home from work and started planting it was time for me to head out.  

I had booked my planned event three weeks prior and it was an ‘evening for a night of creativity, reflection, and expression designed to enrich and restore your soul’… And it was AWESOME! 

Two great authors lead about 40 ladies in a talk about imperfect mothering, allowing emotions to flow, catching the soul bullies (i.e.:negative thoughts), writing and then making a ‘fearless’  mother necklace. All this while eating brownies , cheese and crackers and drinking sparkling water or wine.   I guess I’m old but for me- this was SO LIFE GIVING!! I loved every minute of it.   And I got a free copy of Leeana Tankerslay’s new book #Brazen!  (Well, it wasn’t really free…it came with the workshop but whatever.) 

I cried and laughed during the workshop. I came home and we had a good family movie night.  By good I mean we picked a good movie and no one fell asleep while watching it.  This is always a good sign.    So on Sunday…..I was just getting ready for church with my new ‘fearless’ tank top that unexpectedly matched what Leeana spoke about the night before…… When my kids walked in to my room with written, DIY cards.   The best. I wish I could take a picture of them and post them here but they might not approve and one of them is inappropiate because that is how we (sometimes) roll at our house.  

Then we went to church and my friend/ pastor just knocked it out of the park talking about the truth on living a fearless life.   Seriously- take a listen if you want http://www.centerchurchsd.com/sermons/kicking-fear-in-the-face/

Ok! There is my story for this weekend.  GRACE for the imperfect moments.  Much grace since they are mostly imperfect.  New eyes to see.  No strike this weekend.  No time for pity parties when I ask for what I need and take care of myself.  Phew!!

Feliz día de las madres carnales!!

*by the way, in case you are wondering, OGUS = Original Gangsters United States 

Mother’s day

Today Is mother’s day. I feel so different than a few years ago when I actually went on strike because my kids forgot that it was Mother’s Day  and they did not congratulate me.  I was sooo sad that day.  So sad that I went on strike! 

Today I am feeling the actual privilege it is to have been able to give birth to my babies. The pregnancies were crazy and awesome and I loved every minute of it.  I was so mindfully present and so aware at their births- I had a rough youth and I very much understood this was an incredible gift.  I spent as much time as I could with them ENJOYING and delighting with them for years.  This enjoyment in little ones transforms as they grow up. There is a bit of grieving tension that comes with that. 
I often find myself (now that my first baby is a teenager) complaining that this parenting thing is SO hard. And it can be. It is definitely scary at times.  But I just realized this Mother’s Day morning (for the first time) that I AM blessed and capable to be their momma .  The fact that I can let myself off the hook for not being perfect is of great help.  I love them every day to the best of my ability.  The more I seek spiritual transformation and take care of myself , the better I can parent my babes.  This is a hard one because I just want to pour it all out onto them- and expect that they will do the same. 

They are little humans that love and breathe and laugh and cry and get angry sometimes (just like me).  The fact that I don’t ‘own’ them or their feelings is such a freeing realization.

 I am responsible for providing them with secure love, eyes to seek God, an education and room and board.  Everything else is extra. All is a gift.  A gift that can take courage to SEE. DAILY. 

Fearless Courage. 

I am grateful for eyes to SEE that this morning. I am fearless today.  Grateful for these lifes. Present and so aware of God’s awe. I can let go of performance based loved and see a deeper amazement in life.  In my children’s lifes, no matter where they are at.  No matter what they are doing or not doing.  It is good to love. Love Fearless.