Mother’s day

Today Is mother’s day. I feel so different than a few years ago when I actually went on strike because my kids forgot that it was Mother’s Day  and they did not congratulate me.  I was sooo sad that day.  So sad that I went on strike! 

Today I am feeling the actual privilege it is to have been able to give birth to my babies. The pregnancies were crazy and awesome and I loved every minute of it.  I was so mindfully present and so aware at their births- I had a rough youth and I very much understood this was an incredible gift.  I spent as much time as I could with them ENJOYING and delighting with them for years.  This enjoyment in little ones transforms as they grow up. There is a bit of grieving tension that comes with that. 
I often find myself (now that my first baby is a teenager) complaining that this parenting thing is SO hard. And it can be. It is definitely scary at times.  But I just realized this Mother’s Day morning (for the first time) that I AM blessed and capable to be their momma .  The fact that I can let myself off the hook for not being perfect is of great help.  I love them every day to the best of my ability.  The more I seek spiritual transformation and take care of myself , the better I can parent my babes.  This is a hard one because I just want to pour it all out onto them- and expect that they will do the same. 

They are little humans that love and breathe and laugh and cry and get angry sometimes (just like me).  The fact that I don’t ‘own’ them or their feelings is such a freeing realization.

 I am responsible for providing them with secure love, eyes to seek God, an education and room and board.  Everything else is extra. All is a gift.  A gift that can take courage to SEE. DAILY. 

Fearless Courage. 

I am grateful for eyes to SEE that this morning. I am fearless today.  Grateful for these lifes. Present and so aware of God’s awe. I can let go of performance based loved and see a deeper amazement in life.  In my children’s lifes, no matter where they are at.  No matter what they are doing or not doing.  It is good to love. Love Fearless.  

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