Today Is mother’s day. I feel so different than a few years ago when I actually went on strike because my kids forgot that it was Mother’s Day and they did not congratulate me. I was sooo sad that day. So sad that I went on strike!
Today I am feeling the actual privilege it is to have been able to give birth to my babies. The pregnancies were crazy and awesome and I loved every minute of it. I was so mindfully present and so aware at their births- I had a rough youth and I very much understood this was an incredible gift. I spent as much time as I could with them ENJOYING and delighting with them for years. This enjoyment in little ones transforms as they grow up. There is a bit of grieving tension that comes with that.
I often find myself (now that my first baby is a teenager) complaining that this parenting thing is SO hard. And it can be. It is definitely scary at times. But I just realized this Mother’s Day morning (for the first time) that I AM blessed and capable to be their momma . The fact that I can let myself off the hook for not being perfect is of great help. I love them every day to the best of my ability. The more I seek spiritual transformation and take care of myself , the better I can parent my babes. This is a hard one because I just want to pour it all out onto them- and expect that they will do the same.
They are little humans that love and breathe and laugh and cry and get angry sometimes (just like me). The fact that I don’t ‘own’ them or their feelings is such a freeing realization.
I am responsible for providing them with secure love, eyes to seek God, an education and room and board. Everything else is extra. All is a gift. A gift that can take courage to SEE. DAILY.
I am grateful for eyes to SEE that this morning. I am fearless today. Grateful for these lifes. Present and so aware of God’s awe. I can let go of performance based loved and see a deeper amazement in life. In my children’s lifes, no matter where they are at. No matter what they are doing or not doing. It is good to love. Love Fearless.