It’s a powerful thought to remember. We can not control other people, change them or help anyone that does not want to be helped. You can pray all you want to whatever god you choose, you can wish people well (or ill) day in and day out BUT the reality is that we can only change ourselves. At a low level of consciousness most of us know this perhaps, or at least we can say we know this as a fact. Yet the funny thing is how us humans can so quickly fall into pointing the finger at others,,,blaming or complaining about how our lives are soooo bad because of what other people have done or are doing. It is also funny how we love to just talk smack about other people in general, just for fun, whether it affects us or not. I find it so interesting just how difficult it is for us to take daily and constant personal responsibility.
One of the most impact full practices that I have learned has been sharing at any 12 step or growth meeting BUT … wait for it….only sharing about ME. No one else. Keeping the focus on myself. Literally, at any meeting, as soon as you started to talk about the neighbor, or your mom, co-worker etc., some good soul in the group had the task to stop you and scream out loud, “Tell me about YOU”. Always bringing back the experience you were recounting to your own personal participation in whatever circumstance you are re-living at the time. This practice is not to deny that other people can be jerks and can certainly hurt us, but a decision to choose my perspective and my part in how I process and allow this to affect me.
It is a constant exercise of awareness and it is really no joke. It is a hard practice. It takes discipline and accountability – it is a lot easier to focus on others than to turn the camera on to ME. Self examination. The only one that can change, the only one I can direct. Is me. Same goes for you.