Part 2. Of Why I left the church. Again. 

I want to make it clear that many of the the friends and community that I’ve found in the church have been the best part of going to church.  The people.  The love.   I write my story without the intention of attacking anyone in particular. – I write to express my views on how I believe the church (and society for that matter) conditions you to believe in something that imprisons you.  It asks that you believe  in something that you can’t see, feel, or make happen.

But they tell you that’s ‘faith’.  And they preach love BUT it is conditional and it can be clicky. And when you are part of the ‘in’ click this can take longer for you to see.

This is not about personalities as much as it is about lies, myths and being guilted into paying for it.

Nobody can talk shit about some of the religious leaders. But they can sure shun you if you don’t go along w their plan.
OBVIOUSLY not everyone in the church is like this. I’ve had beautiful friendships and tons of support. Oh my goodness it can be a great place to start a journey of faith when you end up in a healthy church for sure.
Religious or not, There is really no need for anyone to take this personally.  This is MY story.  MY journey.  And May it BE of benefit to anyone in a similar path.  A journey of wanting more. Of KNOWING there is more to this. A journey of evolving thought and growth and spirituality and  learning ~ a journey of hitting the roof w the limited growth that the government of the church can restrictively offer —  and then going for more.

A journey of knowing and following the urge to move on to a DEEPER spirituality.

A life of Authentically loving and living life without religious restraints or superstitions. It’s hard work. Intense digging and leaning into the discomfort. But so worth the fight.

It takes courage to speak and know that you will no longer ‘belong’ to a certain group that you’ve associated yourself with for a while.  ‘Balls of steel’ like my friend Normita says.
I’ve lost a few friends because of this. So the reality of who really was your friend and who friends you just because you are in the click or not comes out.    This can be painful.   But it is also a gift. Better to live for real than for fake. I’m glad to be one of ‘those’ — the ‘ those’ that Jesus hung out with.

And maybe those religious hearts think they are doing the right thing _ obeying their Santa Claus god.     I just don’t see how kicking you to the curve because you don’t think the same thoughts is love, or a God thing.

I figure this. Bring it on. We are all gonna die.  And life is short and a beautiful GIFT.   I don’t want to live under the cloud of pretending and being proper just so that you can be comfortable. Like Brene Brown says, ” it’s not my job to make you comfortable.”   Nope. It’s my job to live out loud, seek healing , learn to Love unconditionally and be a benefit to this world.

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