The struggle is more than real, its NORMAL!

This is not recent news obviously, life is hard and the longing to find meaning and purpose in it can sometimes be so overwhelmingly suffocating.  I have found that it is really the fighting against this quite ‘normal’ part of life; which is  the fact that we have difficult times.  Every time something hard comes up (which is about every other day if not more often) I tend to turn to defeat mode….complaining mode? Why me mode?  I would like to instead  REMEMBER that acceptance of what IS can make life more and more beautiful even when its ugly~

People die, people get sick, cars break down, bills need to get paid, kids taken care off etc etc.   But why hold my breath until everything ‘gets done’ or ‘gets resolved’?   Why wait to release the breath of relief when someone did not die, or did not get sick, or once all the the bills got paid or xyzgood?  It is wonderful to sigh relief and enjoy when pleasurable events happen- of course!  But today I realized (once again) that I think we rob ourselves of observing mindfully the other percentage of life when we are experiencing not so pleasurable times.

Accepting that I can not change people, places or things but only myself;  my perspective; my beliefs about life and love and the Mystery of it all is a joy.   Patience, is seeing again with fresh eyes, that life is THE journey and HOW I travel and not just the end result.   ~

So today,  I am patient…with myself, my family, my continuing backyard construction that I wish were done already, my crazy Houdini escaping dog who keeps running out and scaring the neighbors,  and the big ‘to do’ list.  Bring it on LIFE.  Thank you~ There is space for it all.




My GRATEFUL look at 2017~

It’s interesting that 365 days ago, my word for 2017 was ‘CONTENTMENT’.

Just to BE …. to be content in any case. To BE still and Know~

It worked out to that… but holy shit – It took some hard work to get there.

2017 was a year of letting go of false ideas, false friends and ‘anxietal’ hustle – a year of spiritual direction, a year of great courage, a year of breaking free of religion, of deepening old friendships, a year of much love, an opening of consciousness and of welcoming back a sense of contentment.

I found peace and contentment outside of religion, outside of pretending, outside of fake friendships, outside of the need to belong to a specific group or to a specific community. I belong to no one, I belong to myself.

The road set for this in 2017 began with a desire for DEPTH, a LONGING for more; an insightful awareness that something was just wrong; a Mystical wonder and a tug in my soul that just KNEW there was more.

Early on in the year I was led to contemplative prayer practices. There were road trips and books and yoga; meditation and writing and walks on the beach and lots of coffee dates with good friends. There was soul-searching; a deconstruction of sorts ~~ struggle and loss as well as a POWERFUL acknowledgment of my warranted rebellion.

This year I came to a beautiful Freedom that I had seen and felt many times before but had lost in the past few years. So, whatever: I fell asleep for a while…it was part of my journey. Thank God I feel awake again. May I continue to find opportunities to REMAIN awake.

I am loved and I am Love.

Today my word for 2018 is PRESENCE~~


1) the state or fact of existing, occurring, or BEING PRESENT in a place or thing.

2) a person or thing that exists or is PRESENT in a place but is not seen.

The PRESENCE that has always been inside of me, within me and within all of us. LOVE~

The Presence to BE- to be aware of every moment. Bad or good, because there is space for it all. No need for running or rushing or hustling- just a good set of practices to create a sweet discipline of wellness and acceptance and patience and love.

May we have the blessing of continuing to keep our eyes open and aware of this beautiful presence of love and compassion and kindness and the precious gift of life. Only with this blessing in hand can we then give back to the world.

Thank you my friends- all who supported me through this powerful year. Michelle, Phileena, Linda, Janet, Bibi, Denise, Abril, Paola, Hanne, Bri, Normita, Tamara, Nev, Lisa, Lily, Peggy, Carmen, Erika, my cousin Karin and my sis Elisa. Your love held me strong. I am so grateful for you all.

Thank you to my gift of life and number one best friend, Julio❤️ you are the best. Thank you Paula and Santi, for teaching me more about Life and Love than I could ever have imagined.

Happy New Year my friends ~~ Happy New Year.

Sending love to all beings.

May all beings continue reclaiming their power

May all beings heal themselves and the world

May all beings be happy and free.

Yung Pueblo~ .